Isabella Riojas, PhD

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for Couples

When a relationship is struggling, it's easy to get stuck in the same painful cycle—one person withdraws, the other pursues, neither feels heard, and the distance keeps growing. EFT helps couples understand what's really happening beneath the arguments and silence, and find their way back to each other.

What EFT Is

EFT is based on attachment theory—the science of how we bond with the people we love. It recognizes that most relationship conflicts aren't really about the dishes, money, or parenting. They're about deeper emotional needs: Do you see me? Am I important to you? Can I count on you?

When those needs go unmet, couples fall into patterns that push them further apart. One partner might criticize or demand, while the other shuts down or defends. These aren't personality flaws—they're desperate attempts to protect yourself when you feel emotionally unsafe.

What to Expect in EFT

In EFT, we slow things down. Instead of focusing on who's right or wrong, we look at the emotional cycle that's keeping you stuck. I'll help each of you understand not just what you do, but why—what fears or needs are driving your reactions.

As you begin to see the pattern clearly, something shifts. You're no longer fighting each other—you're working together against the cycle that's been hurting you both. From there, we build new ways of reaching for each other, asking for what you need, and responding to your partner's vulnerability.

It's About Creating Secure Connection

EFT doesn't just teach communication skills or conflict resolution techniques. It helps you rebuild emotional safety—the foundation that makes everything else possible. When both partners feel secure, they can be more open, more forgiving, and more willing to take risks together.

If you're ready to break the cycle and reconnect, EFT offers a clear path forward.